Self Love Isn’t Always Soft
NO AI WAS USED HERE [This blog is purely my personal insight]
Social media has a lot of people thinking that self love is all about living a soft life, drinking matcha, getting your nails/hair/brows done, pilates, meditation, etc. Yes, those things can make us feel happy. Yes, those things can create intimate moments with ourselves. But what good does any of that do if you’re dealing with experiences that make you uncomfortable in life & within yourself? Self love is also deleting that number, removing that person off of your social media, saying “no” when someone asks you to bend over backwards for them. Self love is having discipline with yourself to eat better because you care for your health & life & you want to live a long, youthful life. Self love isn’t always pretty but it’s so worth it!
As many of you may know, I’m 20 years old & my relationship with self love has been wishy washy. When I was younger, I was totally obsessed with myself (#librarising) but as I got older, around middle school, I had that ‘awkward phase’ & started to lowkey hate myself.
This caused me to accept what was given to me in relationships, willingly be tricked & manipulated in friendships, afraid to ask for too much in business. However, as I spent more time with myself after a horrible, horrible breakup, I realized that..the way I treat myself & the way I see myself is how other’s will treat & feel about me. So yes, if I’m gullible people are gonna play with me. Yes, if I’m forgiving people are going to keep trying to hurt me. I had to sit down & have a real deep conversation with myself.
What do I want for myself?
What do I see?
What happened to me?
Am I living for someone else?
I feel like these are the main question that people should ask when manifesting or doing any type of inner shadow work. This was the very beginning of my Self Love Journey. These questions caused me to go into Hermit Mode after graduating highschool & reevaluate who I had around me. I started to see people for who they really are. I started to understand that a lot of people viewed me as a benefit rather than genuine connection. It was definitely a heartbreaking realization, but it was a necessary one. Because now, I have a group of friends that love & care about me the same way I love & care about them. I have new people that I consider family, & they truly want the best for me, no hidden motives.
Why am I bringing this up? To show you that sometimes the most uncomfortable decisions are the best for your growth. Self love is wanting the best for yourself, not only doing things to treat yourself. Self love is making choices that won’t fuck your future self over.
So tonight, I want you to ponder on these questions: Am I entertaining anything that makes me sacrifice myself more than I have to? Am I doing anything that makes me feel guilty after?
Whatever just came to your mind when reading that, see how you can set boundaries with it! I’ll be honest & transparent here; one of my biggest challenges right now is consuming things that aren’t the best for my health. Energy drinks, sugar, smoking, artificial foods. It makes me feel so guilty because I know I could be doing better but I always choose pleasure. So, what will my solution be? Trying to cut all of that off immediately would be a pure torture, so I’ll set BOUNDARIES with it or make PROMISES to myself. For example, instead of smoking 4 times a day, I’ll only smoke at night. If I drink an energy drink, I’ll have to finish 2 bottles of water right after. These are different ways you can show yourself that you do care/ love yourself & you can create a balance between self love & pleasure!
Well, that’s my thoughts for the day! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this. I kinda like it, it’s like my online diary, lol! I’ll be doing this every Sunday so stay tuned for that. Thank you for being a flower in Eternal Garden, let me know how you feel in the comments! <3
